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by Liane

Attraction is a relative measure

What makes you attractive?

It’s relative, right? What makes me attractive to you, or another, or even to oneself is all a definition of …well, self. Further, what appeals to me for a certain purpose relies on a subscription of definitions, derived both consciously and subconsciously, derived from our personal and historical experiences, applied very specifically to the circumstances.

So, here I sit, in my own backyard on a rather crisp, but pleasant, Calgary springtime evening, enjoying the surroundings of my ‘attractive’ back yard (because I created it) with all its zen elements. It’s Saturday night and I just finished watching BBCEarth and subsequently daydreaming of witnessing turtles hatch in the Yucatan (which I have been lucky enough to do once). I wonder when and where I might travel to again once the alarm of unhealthful circumstances of Spring 2020 relieves us all of our paranoia. What destinations will be attractive to travel to?

Despite all the prevalent darkness in the media, my backyard is an incredible oasis of beauty! Since the five years I have resided here, I have continued to experiment with horticultural techniques, from full-on organic bison compost for my new garden beds, to embracing an entire garden of hostas beneath the unforgiving limbs of shade the fir trees demand across most of my north-facing backyard. 

Tonight, as I try in vain to relight my gas patio heat lamp, since the wind has declared a small war, I sit patiently waiting for the suggested reset period of “approximately five minutes before reigniting …” Lo and behold, as I wait patiently the effects of the wind grab hold of the new wind chimes I just hung in the garden yesterday, emitting calm. I hear the shrill chirp of a bird, one I do not recognize (which, is odd for me, because I proudly call myself “the Bird Lady.”)

Just as I rise to reignite the heat lamp, I witness the culprit of the foreign chirp: an American Goldfinch landing at my birdbath, his mate just metres away on the fence, on guard. Whilst American Goldfinches are not completely foreign to my own backyard, they are a true sign in light of a very cool spring, that my backyard is indeed attractive. I have no idea what made my yard more attractive than my next-door neighbour’s, who does a whole lot more work than I do to create colour and horticultural vibrance, but tonight I was the winner of the proverbial ‘chicken dinner.’ 

As the brilliant Goldfinch disappeared into the trees beyond and dusk took firm hold of my day, I could only celebrate that fact of my yard being noticed tonight, a huge sense of gratitude in its wake, for all the little touches I take daily pride in creating and maintaining, both for me and also for the small creatures I wish to selfishly attract to my small space on this earth. 
Expanding the analogies of attraction further, into the realms of commerce, and following the past two days of hard labour of rebuilding two of my three websites onto new platforms (since I am not great at digital graphics stuff, this was huge), I contemplate what will set my business services apart from all my competitors. If SEO is liken to a clean birdbath or the appropriate bird seed or fresh nectar, then surely I have the most attractive space to visit …or do I? 

Is quality the clincher? 
Or is it grittiness?
Does the hungriest dog really always get the bone?

The question prevails then ….is being the most attractive the ticket to being noticed?

As my lamp ignites, I take a wee step back and recall moments in spaces where beauty of the human forms hold value, I can see visions of beautiful people performing on stages, or musical instruments being played to create an aural effect and know for certain that not all audiences appreciate the same forms of art. For me, opera is painful. I also contemplate past relationships and the elements of my chosen partners that were beautiful to me as well as the ones that repelled me and why.

With the economy in a sad state, employment confused and challenging, finding meaningful work for many (including myself) requires one to step up their game to be noticed and selected from the hoards of hungry competitors. If our world has changed so drastically, so must we. Our status quo no longer looks like it did just a few months ago; we cannot expect that applying sameness can have an effect like it once did. Go forth and be different. We are all in this together, but we all are unique and thus our very differences are our key elements of attraction.

Namaste,
Liane 

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Numbers, numbers, numbers …unsolicited, they keep coming at us from every direction: television, radio, financial advisors, employers, scientists, politicians ….Like it or not, we have all endured a year of measures. Beneath all these numbers lies a monster that evades access to precise measurement; that monster is mental health. Our mental health is the invisible gauge by which we pluck out our daily options and the gauge to how we perceive ourselves, how we treat others, how we make selections and decisions, how we measure our results and go about our everyday. When we exist in a secure and stable frame of mind and reference, we are capable of making sound choices, making positive things happen. Contrarily, when we are feeling defeated, disadvantaged or denied, disconnected or down, we do not exude the same level of confidence and decision-making capacities; we may resort to poor decisions, thus creating further unhealth. There are so many aspects that affect one’s mental health, for every one it may be different and thus immeasurable at the surface or at a societal level. Hence, the danger exists for the collective society and our communities …and those who love us. With governments forcing continued (and arguably unreasonable) closures of the services and businesses we all need to maintain a standard of ‘normal’ in our lives, these agencies are simultaneously feeding our angst and growing frustrations that fertilize declining mental health. We all know it’s imperative to help ourselves before we help others; we must make selfish choices (ie: self-care) to ensure we are of sound mind and health to support our families and continue to make positive strides in all aspects of life. Even access to our practitioners as we once had seems complicated now. But what of those who are overwhelmed with stress, impossible burdens and demands, sickness and messy family dynamics? How are we expected to make a difference when we have handcuffs and the whereabouts of the key to the handcuffs unknown. Despite these burdens, we must continue to operate our lives within this chaos? I have alluded in previous blogs to shifting the power of our thoughts to where one feels in control, rather than obsess about the obvious and unchangeable. I have alluded to finding meaning in areas which would not otherwise be an option, if not for the chaos. For me, I embraced my passion for art, worked extra hard on home-based fitness, researched and tapped into some new forms of nutrition and supplements, performed a whole lot of cleaning and purging, completed unfinished projects, started new ones ….While these actions do feel good and are measurable, they do not remove the realities of our finances and the fact many of our personal earnings have slowed to a trickle, and they do not mask the reality that we cannot collect the hugs we really crave from our friends and families outside our cohort bubble, or play our favourite sport each week, to elevate our endorphins and raise our serotonin levels. Frankly, this gig is getting stale and inevitably taking its toll on all of us. Perhaps there may be a small nugget of comfort in this collective phenomenon of societal despair …across the globe, with all its variants ...oh, good grief! Recently, I came across a story that helped me shift my own emotional status. I hope I may bring value to you too. During times of immense challenge, it can be helpful to examine how individuals who operate at a high level of stress (people who choose this particular lifestyle) carve balance and keep level. Not that we may become immune to our stresses, because stress is unhealthy and often propagate disease, but rather to learn some practical ways we may be naturally equipped to transition our stresses in meaningful and beneficial ways. Max Parrot , Canadian Olympic snowboard champion, a very recent survivor of Hodgkin’s lymphoma, started his chemotherapy during Covid in 2019. In an interview , he states “I am grateful for my cancer battle …” The 26-year-old took his cancer diagnosis and used it to his advantage. About his forced journey into disease, he says the following: “I think one of the reasons why (I was so motivated to beat cancer) is because I was like a lion in a cage for the whole time. I was at the hospital and I just wanted to snowboard so bad and be back out there. So, when I fought against it (cancer) and won, they opened the cage and I just went straight to training and rode so much and was just really happy to be back on snow. So, I think that's the reason why I had such a good year last season.” Alright, so no one reading this is likely an athlete being paid to train for the next Olympics to defend his Silver, but the point is that no matter how defeated and restricted we all may feel, we can penetrate some realms of our barriers to create a more positive foundation, even when matters may seem hopeless or out of our locus of control. In Max’s case, he changed the way he looked at cancer and negated the negative connotation most people have towards cancer. “Choosing to have the right attitude in moments when you’re not supposed to have it,” …is the difference to creating positive results. This is what Max’s mental performance psychologist coach and international speaker, Jean François Ménard suggests to Max and all his clients. In his many motivational speeches as an athlete himself and sports psychologist, he asserts that moving through adversity is about shifting your way of thinking: “ Attitude is everything ,” he says to his audience, some of which are elite athletes and well-known performers like Cirque du Soleil. If one can shift her perception about the topic on the table (such as work, money, relationships, goals, etc.), then change is ripe to occur. “People with the right attitude are not only surviving in Covid times, they are thriving. Let’s face it; having an agile mindset and being open-minded to uncertainties have become necessary mental skills during this pandemic. The greatest minds know that if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change .” Those who have garnered a stronger confidence, tapped into their higher selves, learned skills to rise above adversity are inarguably those who can assist us now by example with some of our own mountainous challenges. None of the notions JF Ménard projects are rocket science, but they are applicable to all of us who struggle with needing change and craving balance and normal. We are all capable of shifting our mental thoughts onto something different, something more positive in order to claim new results. It’s safe to say that we all know one thing: where the mind goes, energy follows. I took this application and applied it to one of my own personal challenges. When the pandemic robbed me of my spin classes and soccer team, with it went my balance and what replaced it was anger, frustration, tighter clothing and increased caloric intake. Intelligent enough to recognize these negative shifts, I knew I needed to find a new cardio flavour, because the cellulite creams were not working. Months ago, I took up high intensity interval training (HIIT) as research pegged me as someone who could benefit effectively and easily recover my missing balance. However, after only several HIIT workouts, I quickly decided I would rather get punched than endure the aftermath of the incredibly sore muscles HIIT gave me, most of which I neither knew I had nor really cared that I had them. The discomfort was too much, so I reverted to more walking instead, but with minimal results in the area of how my clothes fit me the imbalances persisted. Realizing that change starts with self and if myself was not willing to commit to improving my own mental state and status, how could I expect all the other aspects of my life that needed addressing to change positively? I reexamined the values of HIIT and committed to making myself accountable for my own mental and physical health. What happened was amazing! In a recent blog I shared my new love affair with the fitness app DownDog and how after the free trial expired, I purchased a subscription. Well, within this application also lives other fitness options, such as a HIIT one. With yoga being my daily source of zen, toning, core strength and simulated daily pill for destressing, I shifted my approach to HIIT by using yoga as my rewqrd for every HIIT workout I completed. Where I normally do one hour of yoga every day, I transitioned my workout into 20 minutes of HIIT, supplemented by 30 minutes of yoga to unwind, release any of those stiff and unfamiliar muscles and round out my fitness in this newish frontier called ‘still and variant pandemic.’ My newfound self-care is a wonderful success, as I have shed inches, tightened my entire bod, tossed the cellulite cream, revisited my favourite clothes and reflect a confidence to those I am lucky enough to have within my small cohort group. My own attitude adjustment is proof that what Jean François Ménard recommends does create measurable results, and the ripple effects it conveys is the silver lining …or my own silver medal. Yours in zenity, Liane
By Liane Angerman December 10, 2020
Bye-bye, 2020! Don't let the door hit you on your way out! That is one of the most pointed and defiant comments one can make to another, but for the majority of us ....well, ALL of us, 2020, will be embedded in our minds as a year of challenge, horror, disappointment, shrivel, lack of hope and faith. I digress. During negative times, I find it difficult to come up with positive sharings that don't sound forced or cliche, but as the year is winding down and the world is grasping a glimmer of hope for 2021, I feel the desire to reach outward to my readers and celebrate the little things we have accomplished. I have shared some things with you over this year about how I established balance and ways to rise above the challenges that faced me personally. I hope that you also have weathered these storms and, like me, dream of the next vacation on the beach or an escape to your favourite secret hideaway -- the one the government denied you for a year now. A hearty thank you to all my clients, old and new, for your support, business and commitment to me. As a freelancer, I rely on you to refer my great skills to others. So many of you have and I feel blessed. This week I launched my first newsletter after a flood of interest. If you wish to become part of this list and keep up with what's happening in my little orchard of juicy fruits and sharings, please hit the sign-up button at the bottom of my web page. I wish each and every one of you a joyous and creative Christmas whereby you find ways to make your celebrations happy, unique and a reason to start new memories and traditions. Love and hope, Liane
By Liane Angerman October 21, 2020
I consider myself a glass-half-full personality; I seek the positive aspects of negative situations – Covid 2020, included. My wish, however, was to write my next blog post on the other side of this damndemic, which is obviously not the current medical and social circumstances in the world today. Frankly, I am just tired of all of it. But two negatives actually make a positive, right? In truth, the past eight months have garnered me a lot of opportunity, not in the professional realm of contract work, but more so in the areas that may have been neglected or not so relevant if my business had been buzzing along healthfully: I welcomed a wee rescue dog, not having met him, into my life last February that allowed me the beauty of companionship and motivation to maintain my outdoor activities during lockdown. I continued to embrace my artwork and have painted more than fifty pieces in both watercolour and acrylic, and even managed to sell a few along the way. I also painted both the interior and exterior of my residence. I took advantage of the free online fitness classes and gained about five pounds in muscle and achieved a tighter physique. I joined a knit-a-long from Norway and learned how to do colour work. I managed some deep emotional healing of past scars and traumas dating back to my childhood, which have gifted me a lighter and much brighter recollection of my past. I reconstructed my vision board. I aided a friend in adopting a dog. I attended online webinars for authors trying to hone their craft. I have reunited with someone from my distant past who has swiftly and wonderfully changed the entire landscape of my life and my visions of my future. I have managed to golf more this year with the canceling of outdoor soccer league. With my business income extremely thin and the job boards flooded with keen competition for every advertised role, I took my own advice from a blog past and continued to seek employment in the areas of which I am passionate. Last year, I signed up with Rover.com and managed to truly enjoy the benefits of canine companionship, leading up to the entrance of Mr Marco into my life. Once the pandemic hit and travel stopped and owners began working from home, my dogcare business shriveled with it. Last week, with the advice of a good friend, I discovered another dog walking opportunity and quickly signed up. To date, I have walked several dogs in different areas of the city. The rates I receive for my gas and efforts are terribly low, compared to working as a professional editor or communications specialist, but the rewards are plentiful. I have explored new parks, green spaces, pathways and escarpments of the city where I’ve lived for over thirty years, all the while practicing my zen energy techniques that dogs are so tuned into by nature. With the fall yardwork all caught up prior to the snow that’s falling every day this week, I resurrected a few of last winter’s unfinished knitting projects and dusted off some books I’ve been itching to read. One of them being Cesar’s Way, written by the dog psychology expert himself, Cesar Millan. During the course of reading this book, I have learned so much about myself as a human, most specifically how positive and negative energy affect everything one does and reflects so accurately on those we encounter. Dogs, unlike humans, have the innate ability to constantly and effortlessly scan energies of all those they meet. They veer away from negative energy and sometimes respond defensively to it. “Strong assertive energy,” as Cesar describes it, is the best variety we all must harness to move through our life spaces most effectively and successfully. Since Mr Marco, the rescue, entered my life a few months ago, I have practiced this theory daily on our walks. He has never required a leash when we walk and I live on a very busy and well-trafficked drive on the edge of a provincial park. We encounter countless distractions, humans, dogs, wildlife, etc. ….and he is 100% attentive to my energy output as the dominant leader, which guides him along in order to maintain his own delicate balance, safety and confidence, all in full trust. One of my neighbours has become exceptionally jealous and vindictive of this relationship I have developed with Mr Marco. As an owner of two greyhounds, both with behavioral issues quite likely a reflection of her own psychosis, she has yelled at me for not having my dog on a leash because she admittedly is worried her own dogs might kill mine. There has never been an incident caused by Marco, but she filed a formal claim against me with the city by-law office, telling them my dog roams at large. I admit that as frustrating as this issue is, it is also very laughable. I have achieved with my positive calm assertiveness what observers and other dog owners are baffled at: a dog who walks right beside me and never …..never instigates a negative encounter with other creatures. This, my friends, is the proof of all that Cesar professes and how dogs’ abilities to read energies is impeccable. With Thanksgiving behind us for this year, Halloween around the next bend and Christmas on the horizon, I am remaining hopeful that foreign travel and vacations will be next on the dreamscape. In the meantime, I will imagine my next blog post will be about the reblooming of our economy, healthier, happier people, larger parties, sports venues and rock concerts sold out and bustling airports with travelers jetting to the destinations resembling of the images on their vision boards. In health, warmth and positivity, Liane
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